Today, I felt compelled to write a self-reflection piece about motherhood. I held off on children because I never felt financially ready. I sometimes imagined 4+ children, but at my age, that might not be possible. I just wanted my children to have a quality, secure life.
On top of that, there was so much left I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to travel, get promotions, and go to school. Although having children isn’t the end of my life, it would be more difficult to achieve those things.
Well, with my newborn, things have been difficult. It has been hard, but there is something beautiful about motherhood. I learned to adapt, and the things I put in so much value mean little now. My whole world and priorities shifted, but I am in a rhythm now.
With this rhythm, I feel powerful, like I really can have it all. I take care of my child while I work. I have my job to thank for that, because the flexibility with hours helps a lot. I still deliver results in my professional setting. Also, I am in the middle of getting a mini certification.
Most importantly, I get to bond with my child. I know his quirks, what s/he likes, how to sooth her/him. People say s/he might become too attached to me; I know, though, one day s/he will want to explore and leave me. I want to cherish now-what I have with him.
As he gets older, I am figuring out how to still travel and accomplish my goals. S/He will see that her/his mother has different sides to her. I am still my own person. The more s/he can see this, the more s/he will have an example of what it means to be a woman.
To the future!